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Move Over Cart Girl
Today I almost ran over a cart girl with my car. If you don’t know what a car girl is, she is a young girl…
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My shorts are riding up my thighs!
Women! WOOO-MEN! My shorts are riding up my thighs! I take three steps and it looks like I have a vacuum in my hoo-ha sucking…
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Welp. This is 41.
Welp. This is 41. So far I’ve farted and sharted my way into this new year of life. Due to old age? Possibly. Realistically, I…
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Grab Your Lemons
PSATATBOT (Public Service Announcement To All The Bitches Out There): STOP listening to SAD music. Just stop. There is a time and place for everything,…