Eating My Feelings – Like Any Normal Person Would Do!
Oh man. The class assignments for this school year were just posted. So naturally my phone is blowing up with desperate parents gathering intel on who else is in their child’s class. I hate this shit, because really they are just passing judgement on whether or not each child in the class is positive or negative for their own child. Texting one another “what do you think about so and so?!”, “I heard this about little Bobby” etc, etc, etc.
Did I mention I hate this shit? It sends my blood pressure through the roof and my nervous system down the toilet. So naturally in response, I’m sending my husband out to get chicken tenders and french fries for dinner – so I can eat my feelings – like any normal person would do! And yes, these are the same chicken tenders that I ate cold, off the floor, not so long ago. See “I’m eating you anyway!” if you want to feel better about your life.
Anyway, I wonder if things are like this everywhere? Does every town have a grade wide chat? Does every town have a poll set up hours prior to the class assignments, so that AS SOON as people get their teacher, they can share the information with everyone?
I miss the 90’s! Yes, I’m going there, I don’t care. You had NO IDEA who was in your class until you walked in on the first day of school. You put on your (peed in – because you were so nervous) big girl pants, marched yourself in and took a seat. Then, you would stare at the door just praying that a friendly face would walk in after you and also that the puddle in your pants wasn’t visible.
Do you know what I am realizing? I actually don’t know if that is true or not, because I honestly don’t remember. LOL. What I remember is the first day of third grade when I moved to a new state and it didn’t matter who was in my class, because I didn’t know a soul.
Did our parents get a class list prior to the start of school? Did they just get a letter in the mail stating who their child had been assigned to? How did it work? What if your letter was lost in the mail? The mail didn’t get delivered to everyone at the same time either. So did some kids find out before others?? This feels like the dark ages!! Did they carve your name on a stone tablet and display it in the middle of town?!
Back to my point, I hate this shit. What will be, will be. Sometimes you’re just better off not knowing, especially in situations where you can’t change it anyway. I hope that my son has a good year. I hope that he has a good friend. I hope that he is happy. I can hope, but in the end, it is out of my control.
What I can control is burying my anxiousness under a stomach ache and self-loathing. Bring on the chicken tenders and french fries! Bon appetit bitches!
Legal Blah Blah Blah: Eating your feelings is not meant to be medical advice. Speak to your doctor before ingesting an obscene amount of calories. Short term studies have shown filling your stomach will not in fact solve your problems. Do not eat your feelings if you are pregnant, trying to get pregnant, are on Flinstone’s Vitamins, or trying to lose weight. Eating your feelings may cause side effects like diarrhea, constipation, upset stomach, self loathing, regret, shame and uncontrollable water to leak from the eyeballs.