Super Septic Man

My septic guy is here pumping our tank right now.  He is like a fucking superhero.  For those of you with sewer hook ups that are clueless to the world of septic – everytime I flush the potty or do the dishes, or anything goes down a drain pipe, it goes into a tank buried in my backyard.  As someone who grew up with sewers, I was blissfully unaware that other people live with years of shit and used toilet paper stock piled under their property.  It’s like a doomsday shelter, but instead of canned goods, you slowly fill it up with poopies.  Unlike a doomsday shelter, it will do you no good when the zombie apocalypse hits.  Seriously, septic is crazy.  The aftermath of one wrong burrito could cause you to clog the whole system and BAM poop soup is backing up into your house!  It’s insane!  I had no idea the stress and hardships people lived with everyday, just praying to the toilet gods every time they flushed.

Super Septic Man is literally down there right now with a suction hose and a pole, just stirring up the turds and toilet paper.  I feel like that could describe my own job right now, as I too am face down, staring into a hole of shit, just poking at the little balls of crap until they make their way into the pipeline of “next steps” and “final deliverables”.  As soon as the tank is empty, more little shits come flying in, sitting and marinating until I find the inner strength to stir them up and send them on their way.

The worst part?  I have to pee!  I don’t want to go and shoot my shit at this guy.  He is down there poking at all my past poopies.  The last thing I want to do is add more to his plate.  What am I going to do, write “I’m sorry” on a post-it note and flush it down?!  Actually, I just realized I can go pee and wait to flush until he is gone.  Crisis averted.  If only solving my problems at work could be that simple.  Maybe it is.  Maybe the lesson learned from the septic tank today is to let the shit sit.  Flush later.