Is ankle nudity out?

Dear reader,

Can someone please explain to me what I am supposed to be doing with my socks?  For years I put a ridiculous amount of effort into hiding the fact that I was wearing socks.  It was a daily struggle between looking cute and losing my damn mind, because inevitably I’d end up with my socks all balled up in my shoe.  Why?  I don’t know!  I just had ankles that were non-receptive to low cut socks.  Eventually, it led to me abolishing the use of socks altogether.  Yes.  My feet stank.  I looked cute, but smelled bad.

Anyway, NOW I’m seeing all these sexy chicks bopping around in socks that can only be described as tube socks that my dad wore in the 90s.  I suppose my mom wore tube socks too, her’s were just never the traditional white.  Her outfits would consist of mom jeans, a colored shirt and socks that matched.  And I wonder why I am incapable of dressing myself.

Anyway, so are my socks supposed to be showing now?  Is ankle nudity out?  Should I be sporting tube socks with all pants, or just leggings?  Do the shoes matter? Am I trying to resemble Master Splinter and rock socks with sandals?  Do I don the giant socks just when I am trying to be repulsive to the opposite sex?  Speaking of sex, do I keep the socks on or take them off for intercourse?  Should it be paired with leg warmers?  Should I just give in and start Sweatin’ to the Oldies (although personally I was more of a Tao-Bo girl myself.  Shout out to Billy Blanks!)?

Also, is everything from the 90s coming back?  Like should I get myself a Jennifer Aniston hair cut??  Should I be proactively bejeweling my shirts?  I would ask if jelly shoes are coming back BUT I saw a pair (for grown ass women) online at Bloomie’s the other day so that answers that question.

I just need a list of what to expect,  so I can spend the next seven years very slowly adapting.  Then be comfortable for like six months, before the trends change again and I revert back to my confused, fashion defunct self.

Thank you in advance for your help with this matter.

Signed, 

Sleepless Over Socks In Seattle